There has been a lot of change in my life over the last 12 months. With changes we get to practice being flexible and going with the flow or being rigid and overly stressed out. Here is an update on what has been going on in my life. If you’re not here for that you can skip ahead a couple paragraphs.
In August of 2017 I sold my first home. In October, I moved my partner to Portland for 6 months of coding school and I moved in with his family in Idaho to stay at my job with a recent promotion. With the promotion came more expectations, more hours at work and more stress. During those six months I traveled to see him frequently and kept myself so busy that I was absolutely drained most of the time. We grew stronger as a couple but it was not easy. In May we went to Europe for three weeks to celebrate Sam’s graduation and our reunion together.
He proposed about halfway through the trip when we were in Italy. 
Here we are in Paris on the roof of a 7 story mall!
When we got back home, we had plans to continue to stay with his family, however, they were asked to leave the house that they had lived in for 9 years because the landlord wanted to raise the rent quite a bit. So, in June I bought a second home in the valley. To wrap up this year of changes I will be turning 30 in August 2018 and I will become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, something I have been working towards for 2 years.
This last year has been exceptionally packed with blessings and changes. I would not trade any of the experiences I’ve had; even though at times I felt like I might break. Something I have learned through these experiences is that the only constant in life is change and we can either flow with it or use all of our energy fighting against it. Life will continue to move on no matter which choice you make. Plans change and evolve. For some people, this is easy to grasp and for others it can be taxing.
In the five years we’ve spent together, Sam has taught me a lot about being patient and calm. I am naturally goal driven, hard working and a little high strung. Some of these are obviously strengths but they are also my downfalls. Sometimes I get goal driven and plan oriented to the point of rigid thinking and exhaustion.
Over the last year, things did not always go according to plan. This caused me stress, anxiety and a tendency to isolate. Sam stayed calm and patient with me; even when he really needed me to be the calm one. His steady and serene nature has helped me work towards adjusting my thinking to be a bit more flexible. Flexible thinking is being able to see the situation but not react to it in such a way that causes further distress. It involves the ability to see things from many different angles and not get attached to any particular outcome. Flexible thinking is open, calm, and able to solve problems in a different way than originally planned. Rigid thinking is stubborn and unyielding; staying with the same patterns and getting frustrated when they do not work. Often times we fall into loops of thinking like this and forget that there might be an easier approach to an issue.
I will admit that I still want to control things in my life but I am learning to have compassion and patience with myself and my plans. Things will go at the pace they are supposed to. Whatever higher power you believe in has a plan for you. Put in the work and practice patience, things will work out.
To conclude this discussion on rigid vs flexible thinking, I wanted to share some acceptance statements I have written myself in the past to help me get through change and challenges with more of an open mind (i.e. more flexibility in my thinking). Feel free to use any that you like or maybe create your own personal acceptance statements.
- I am kind and open-hearted. I handle stress with ease.
- I live in an abundance of love and I am able to see my blessings.
- This is all just life, nothing is as catastrophic as I think it is.
- I am exactly where I should be.
- BREATHE
- I am excited for….. I am grateful for….
- There is time for everything I need to do. I can take it slow.
- I am calm.
- Enjoy the Journey. Enjoy your life NOW.
- I learn and grow as a _____ in ways that are meaningful to me.
Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate you, your comments and support. I hope you have a wonderful week filled with abundance and the wisdom to see how wonderful your life is!
